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What if Dr. Seuss Wrote the Book of Mormon?
author unknown
What if certain books had been written by a different author,
Like Shakespeare, or Milton, or Dickens or Chaucer.
And then giving this ponder a little more juice,
What if the Book of Mormon had been written by Dr. Seuss?
Nephi:
Of goodly parents I was born
I've never drunk, I've never sworn
This is Lehi, he's my dad
Laman, Lemuel, they are bad
And who is this? Why this is Sam.
Sam:
Yes, this is Sam; Sam I am
Laman:
That Sam I am, that Sam I am
I do not like that Sam I am
Sam:
In a tent, my father dwelt
Laman:
And it's so hot, I think I'll melt
Lemuel:
Our father's brain is out of whack
Laman:
Yeah, it's too hot, I'm going back
Lehi:
Then go and get the plates, my dear
Laman:
On second thought, I'm staying here
Nephi:
You said you'd leave and go away
Now all you want to do is stay?
Lemuel:
That Nephi always gets his way
Laman:
Here we are in this damp cave
Sam:
We would not be here if you'd behave
Nephi:
I will go and I will do
There's the angel, that's my cue
Laban's had too much to drink
Now he'll lose his head, I think
Nephi:
Look what I found, a brother from the quorum
Sam:
We will take him home, we will call him Zoram
Laman:
Our gold and silver we have spent
I do not like it in this tent
Lemuel:
I cannot read the Liahona
I must have drunk too much Corona
Laman:
We hate it here, we have no lives
Lehi:
Then go back to the city and get some wives
Lehi:
A tree, a tree, I see a tree!!
The fruit is white, the fruit is free!
A floating building, could it be?
Why do they laugh and stare at me?
Laman, Lemuel, come and see!
Laman:
We will not eat your precious fruit
Lemuel:
We will not wear a tie and suit
Laman:
We will not help you build your boat
Lemuel:
We do not think that it will float
Laman:
No not this boat, it will not float
Not even in a shallow moat
I do not care what Nephi wrote
Lemuel:
We will not eat your fruit I say
Laman:
We will not eat it on a tray
Lemuel:
And we won't eat it in a tent
Not even if your clothes you rent
Laman:
We'd rather have a can of spam
L&L:
We will not eat it, Sam I am
Sam:
You do not like it, so you say
Try it, try it, and you may
Try it and you may I say
Laman:
Sam, if you will let us be,
We will try it, you will see
L&L:
Say, we like this fruit of life
Sorry that we caused such strife
You've saved us from an awful jam
Thank you, thank you, Sam I am!
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